Since the 1960s, Christian leaders who should have been serving to protect biblically based marriage have failed to do so. The ethic for marriage was, by a sleight of hand, traded for ideas that are not consistent with the Bible. In other words, Christian pastors, authors, academicians, and counselors have altered the biblical view of the marriage relationship. This has happened through their omission of scriptural teachings that go against the grain of the secular culture. Thus, they have delivered unbalanced messages that result in teachings that conflict with holistic biblical principles.

The explicit theme throughout the Old and New Testaments is omitted from discussion in the Christian community: A wife’s position is as "help meet" to her husband. Her predisposition is to contend with her husband’s position as head. Her proper disposition is a combination of "the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit" (1 Pet. 3:4) and "submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord" (Col. 3:18).

Pastors, authors, and counselors have neglected their responsibility to deliver balanced messages that hold women accountable to biblical standards. They have neglected to acknowledge and address the default state of the woman’s heart—"your desire will be for your husband," and her position to her husband, "and he will rule over you" (Gen. 3:16).

The result of trading biblical views for secular ones and jettisoning admonishments for women flips the marriage dynamic around where the man is expected to submit to his wife’s fickle emotional state. The outcome is a frustrated marriage relationship that no longer resembles what God intended. Uninstructed Christian women are on their own to incorporate the biblical foundations into their own hearts. Those who do, enjoy the benefits. Those who don’t, make not only themselves miserable, but their husbands too.

It is time that our contemporary Christian leaders return to a balanced presentation in order to make a course correction toward embracing the biblical foundations of marriage.